The Homemaker Father: Story Of A Stay-At-Home Journalist Dad

Representational image of a father and daughter

On a fateful night in January 2013, I met with an accident in Jaipur. It not only put the brakes on my day-to-day life but my first office job as well. Earlier, in my decade-old journalism career, I had worked as a district and state correspondent from Giridih (Jharkhand) and Bhopal.
 
Unfortunately, after recovering and resuming work, I met with another accident. It happened within three months of the first one. This time, it was not as severe, but it forced me to resign from the media establishment.
 
After recovering, I started freelancing and working from home. I used to write for Al Jazeera and Rediff. During this time, my wife Shabina Akhtar, a journalist in Kolkata, landed a job in Jaipur with a reputable media house.

MY FATHERHOOD BEGINS WITH MY WIFE'S PREGNANCY

In January 2014, she conceived for the first time and our responsibilities increased. I used to take care of her health -- check-ups from time to time, arranging her favourite food, and preparing meals were now part of my everyday routine. 

However, we received a shock after the second phase of pregnancy when gynaecologists warned us of the possibility of Down Syndrome in the foetus. Because of marrying in our thirties, we were apprehensive about it. Because of this, Shabina took pregnancy leave early as we decided to get the delivery done in Kolkata.

PARENTING: NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH IT UNTIL IT HAPPENS

In September 2014, we were blessed with our first child -- Mohammed Yahya Akhtar. He was absolutely fine. Shabina had to resume office at the earliest, so we returned to Jaipur within 40 days.

My maternal uncle and aunt had come to support us. Still, it was not easy to take care of the newborn as Shabina used to return from the office around 1 am. So, I took up the major part of the responsibilities of our son like changing diapers, feeding him from a bottle, calming him whenever needed, and putting him to sleep.
 
A year later, I got an offer from a Chinese media organisation. It was an offer for both of us. However, as our son was too young, we decided that I should relocate first. In the meantime, we came across an opportunity at a global organisation that lobbies for MNCs, which Shabina decided to take.
 
These eight months were hectic but happy as I managed to spend a lot of time with our child. But now, I was back to working in an office space, this time in the world's second-largest economy.

WELCOMING OUR SECOND CHILD

Although we were separated by a thousand miles, we communicated in whatever little time we could spare online and on phone. A month later, Shabina informed me that she was pregnant. She left her job and returned to Kolkata and in January 2016, we welcomed our second child -- Kehkashan Arham.

By this time, I, too, returned to India. For one year, I used to travel between Kolkata and Jharkhand, my home state as I had to care for my mother and sisters, who lived in Giridih. Shabina would live with the kids at her parents' house.
  
Before going to China, I had to look after one child and after returning, I had to manage time for two. But this time, I had my in-laws' support.
 
Still, it was not an easy task.
 
Juggling between my new job and changing diapers, my life as a stay-at-home dad resumed yet again. Soon, we got Yahya admitted to a school. This meant another addition to my to-do list -- taking him to school.
 
In January 2017, Shabina and I began an independent media venture -- eNewsroom India. This was a tumultuous time in India with lynchings being reported from many places. With the pressure to make our new venture a success and the future of our children at stake, life wasn't easy.

PANDEMIC PARENTING

In March 2020, when the first lockdown was clamped in India, our son had started school and our daughter was yet to begin classes.

While I would sit with Yahya for the online classes, Shabina did the same for Kehkashan. During the lockdown, many parents found it tough to work from home with kids running around. However, it was not that difficult for me as I had been doing this for years.

However, the lockdown meant fewer activities outside had increased screen time for both kids.

GETTING BACK INTO THE JOB SCENE

Soon we came across a job opportunity at a company in Kolkata, which Shabina applied for. She got the job but had to work the night shift. The kids were again left with me as Shabina would work in the night and could manage to catch 40 winks during the day.

When India was reeling under the second wave of Covid-19, we shifted to a rented house. We would work from home and help the kids with their online classes. In March 2022, offices resumed and Shabina had to work the night shift away from home.

CHOSE MY KIDS OVER MY PASSION

Of late, my daily routine has been waking up the kids, preparing breakfast of their choice, taking my son to school and tuition, playing with them, and helping the children do their homework. The day ends with me tucking them in.

When the kids are hungry, they turn to me for food instead of their mother -- a rare occurrence in an Indian household. If you visit our home, tea will be prepared and served by yours truly.
 
Amid all these, I am reliving my childhood and resurrecting memories. In my childhood, there was no camera around to save the special moments. Now, I play with the kids and their friends and watch cartoons with them. 
 
The only regret of being a stay-at-home dad is that I have to limit ground reporting, which is my passion. Indeed, none of my work or phone calls gets attended to without the intervention of my kids.
 
Now, eNewsroom is six years old and my daughter is just over seven while my son is almost nine. It's like taking care of three hyperactive kids. But this is what makes me happy.

(Shahnawaz Akhtar, the father of two, is founder of eNewsroom India. He has been in journalism for almost two decades now.)

[The opinions, beliefs, and views expressed by the various authors and forum participants on this website are personal and do not reflect the opinions, beliefs, and views of ABP Network Pvt. Ltd.]