Actor and television presenter Mandira Bedi has spoken about the death of her husband Raj Kaushal for the first time. In a candid interview, Mandira shared that she has now reached a point where she can speak publicly about the loss she endured three years ago. Raj Kaushal passed away in June 2021 due to a heart attack. Initially, Mandira found it impossible to talk about him without breaking down, but she now feels strong enough to express what he meant to her and their children. 


"I think of him every day"


In her conversation with Humans of Bombay, Mandira reflected on the challenges she faced during the first year after Raj's passing, describing it as the most difficult period. She shared, “The only way out is through. Of course, my children and I think of him every day. It’s not like we’ve forgotten him. The first year was very, very, very, very hard. The first of everything is just impossible to deal with. The first birthday, the first anniversary, the first Diwali, the first Christmas, the first New Year. The second one is a little bit easier, the third one is a little bit easier…” 


On starting work to months after Raj Kaushal's death


Mandira acknowledged that she is still navigating her grief and described herself as a "work in progress." Her initial response to the loss was to throw herself into work. She explained, “There are moments when we remember him because of a song. I’ve done the therapy I’ve needed to, there are times I still do it. As human beings, we are always a work in progress… What I can do now is talk about it. It makes me emotional, but I can. There was a time I couldn’t. But I won’t break down… I started working two months after it happened… I have to support my family and myself. I need to do it for my children.” 


Mandira gets emotional


Despite her progress, there are still aspects of her grief that Mandira finds difficult to handle. She mentioned, “It’s been six years that I’ve had his car. And I have to sell it now. I’d been holding onto it for emotional reasons, and now I’m going to shed a tear when it goes. So, it’s a work in progress. I’ve dealt with the bulk of it, but for the rest of my life, I’ll always grieve him. One thing I still can’t do, is that I can’t listen to Kishore Kumar music,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. 


Raj Kaushal, who died at the age of 50, was a well-known director, with films like "Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi" and "Shaadi Ka Laddoo" to his credit, along with numerous commercials. 


Mandira and Raj got married in 1999, they have a son named Vir. In 2020, they adopted a 4-year-old girl and named her Tara Bedi Kaushal