New Delhi: Delhi University student Gurmehar who landed herself in the middle of an ugly debate over free speech and patriotism for taking on the ABVP following the violence at Delhi University's Ramjas College has spoken up in detail about herself in a blog titled “I am”.

“I’m an idealist. An athlete. A peacenik. I’m not your angry, vindictive war mongering bechari you hoped me to be. I don’t want war because I know its price; it’s very expensive. Trust me I know better because I’ve paid it everyday. Still do. There is no bill for it, maybe if there was, some wouldn’t hate me so much. Numbers make it more believable,” she writes in the blog which she’s penned for the first time.

“The news channel polls screaming, “IS GURMEHAR’S PAIN RIGHT OR WRONG?”, with a certain vote ratio as a result makes so much more sense to us normal public.”



“And hey! What’s the value of our suffering in front of that? If 51% people think I’m wrong, then I must be wrong. In that case, God knows who’s polluting my mind. “

“Papa is not here with me; he hasn’t been for 18 years. My limited vocabulary of about 200 words, learnt new words called death, war and Pakistan on the days following august 6th, 1999. For obvious reasons it did take me a few years to actually understand the implied definition of them. I say implied because, honestly, does anyone even know their true meaning? I live it and I’m still trying to figure it out especially in the sense of the world,” she adds.
“My father is a martyr. I’m his daughter. But. I am not your “Martyr’s Daughter.”


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Kaur’s comments slamming ABVP and batting for Indo-Pak peace in February this year made her receive death threat from unscrupulous elements. She was threatened with rape too following which she received immense support from politicians and various people from different walks of life.

However, her controversial comments also did not go down too well with couple of sports personalities.

Kaur was barely two when her father, Captain Mandeep Singh, of the 4 Rashtriya Rifles was killed in Kashmir on the night of August 6, 1999.

Captain Singh, 30, of the 4 Rashtriya Rifles was commanding a unit that came under attack from a group of 40 militants, who tried to storm the camp at Chak Nutnusa village of Kupwara district.

Six other soldiers were also killed in the attack that came within a month of the end of the Kargil war.