Trauma bonds are a type of unhealthy connection between two people that is formed as a result of shared traumatic experiences. These bonds often form in relationships where one person has been subjected to abuse, neglect, and/or manipulation by another. While trauma bonds can be hard to break, there are sure signs that you can look out for if you think you may be stuck in one.
How Do You Know If You’re Stuck in One?
Dr. Chandni Tugnait, M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director - Gateway of Healing, characterised trauma ties as powerful, irrational attachments to someone possibly dangerous or toxic in an interview with ABP Live. She also revealed a few tell-tale indicators that you're trapped in a trauma bond:
1. Self-Blame
Do you often blame yourself for the mistakes or wrongdoings of your partner? This could indicate that you are stuck in a trauma bond. People in trauma bonds tend to internalize the blame for adverse events or interactions with their abuser. This type of self-blame can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness which further fuels the cycle of abuse.
2. Fear of abandonment
Are you constantly worried about being abandoned by your partner? Fear of abandonment is common among those stuck in a trauma bond because they see leaving their abuser as an act of betrayal or abandonment. Even if they recognize that their abuser is abusive, they may still feel obligated to stay due to feelings of loyalty and dependency on them.
3. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:
Are you using unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drugs to cope with difficult emotions related to your relationship? People in traumatic relationships often resort to substance use as a means of escaping from their reality and numbing out painful emotions like fear, guilt, and shame. Substances can provide temporary relief but perpetuate the cycle of abuse rather than helping one escape it.
4. Cognitive Dissonance:
Do you find yourself rationalizing away your partner’s destructive behaviors despite knowing that what they are doing is wrong? Cognitive dissonance is when we justify our behavior even when we know it’s unfit or unhealthy for us because we don’t want to admit our mistakes or face the truth about ourselves and our relationship choices. This is especially true for people stuck in toxic relationships due to trauma bonds; they may convince themselves that staying with their abuser is better than facing the truth about their situation.
5. Isolation From Family And Friends:
Have you isolated yourself from family and friends over time due to feelings of shame or embarrassment about your relationship with your partner? People stuck in a trauma bond often become isolated from family and friends out of fear; fear that if others knew how bad things were, then they would be judged harshly for staying with their abuser instead of leaving them sooner!
Trauma bonds can be hard to break free from, but it is not impossible to do so – all it takes is recognizing signs like those mentioned above and taking action toward freeing yourself from them by seeking help from professionals who specialize in dealing with traumatic relationships.
Seek support from counsellors, therapists, support groups, etc. By recognizing these signs early on, individuals can begin taking steps towards breaking free before it becomes too late! With knowledge comes power; take yours back, today!