Beyond the Screen: Queer Beauty Content Creator Rahil Sayed Shares His Journey. Says, 'My Father Did Not Speak To Me For Over 5 Years'

ABP Live had a candid conversation with beauty content creator Rahil Sayad, who spoke about the representation of LGBTQIA community in present times, shattered stereotypes and so much more.

New Delhi: Even a few years ago, men as  beauty content creator wasn't taken in a good way. However, with the passage of time and a paradigm shift in mentality, people appear to be more open about their choices. The fashion and beauty industries have also embraced the concept of 'gender fluidity,' and that men, like women, can wear sarees and makeup. Furthermore, the increased representation of the LGBTQIA population in current times has inspired people to be proud of their gender choices

Although 'Pride Month' began long back, it has gained mainstream importance only recently. To celebrate Pride Month and all those who are queer, ABP Live had a candid conversation with beauty content creator Rahil Sayad, who talked about his journey, the representation of LGBTQIA community in present times and so much more.

He also shared that his parents were not supportive initially saying, "My father said a lot of hurtful things to me that you wouldn't expect a parent to say. He did not speak to me for over 5 years."

Here are some excepts from the interview:

Can you share how did you get started in this field?

Becoming a full time beauty content creator was something that was not in my plans. I spent almost four years watching videos on youtube and teaching myself the dos and don'ts and the tips and tricks of makeup. Lockdown was the perfect time for me to practice my skills due to unemployment and I decided to post my journey/progress on the internet while I was at it.

I got a lot of encouragement from my growing audience and brands across the country which then motivated me to look at content creation as a full time career choice.

However, as I grew on the internet and with every brand collaboration, I realised the role that I played. As a 'dark-skinned' individual belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, I felt responsible to firstly show my authentic self ie. represent my community in the truest possible way, and then represent all the dark-skinned individuals who weren't represented in the name of 'Indian' skin and refused to be whitewashed.

Your makeup features bold and quirky eye makeup- what draws your interest towards it?

Like i said, I've spent almost four years just watching videos on youtube and a lot of what i know today is inspired by drag makeup. Initially, I'd just watch girls doing everyday makeup but nothing resonated with me until i found the concept of drag. It is a lot more exaggerated almost to a point you end up looking like a whole new identity. I don't see my self as a drag queen, at least not yet but I love the extravagance of it, the super bold eyeshadow looks etc.

Men in makeup is a concept that not many are used to yet. So, when they see one in public, it's all eyes on you. Hence, you might as well give them something to look at also broke some misconceptions pertaining to queer people.

Being someone from the LGBTQIA community, what do you feel about the representation about your community in present time?

I believe the representation of and about the LGBTQIA community can be a lot better. Let's talk about bollywood for a second. Like it or not, Bollywood plays a very important part in what the vast majority of our socity consumes and acts upon. They surely have come a long way when it comes to representing the LGBTQ+ community. It is a big deal to see the progress that they have made, however, I am sure a lot of people will agree when I say this, even though we're being represented, it's not a fair representation.

For instance, a cis-het male playing the role of a queer individual is not representation. Besides, every movie that I have watched with a lead queer character, it's always represented in a comical manner be it the dialogues or the storyline. I agree that every step is a step and it has to start somewhere, but it may end up being of no use if the step is taken in the wrong direction. The point of representaion is to provide a sense of relatibility. So, if it is consumed in a comical manner, it bocomes a joke in real life.

How do you balance creativity and self-expression while catering to the latest trends?

The fact of the matter is, I do what I love. Nothing in this day and age is original; however, doing what you love, being crazy and outrageous is the best way to express and explore all sides of your creativity. That, in my opinion, has the potential to bring out originality to the table and a reason for people to appreciate your art.

I'm no trendsetter in any shape or form, however, being the first is trendsetting on its own.  

What are the misconceptions or stereotypes about 'queer' people who love makeup, that you would like to address?

The biggest misconception is that men who wear makeup are inferior because of their gender and that they're weak physically and mentally, and can not be further from the truth. If anything, us gay men in makeup are so confident in our sexuality and gender that a little bit of makeup doesn't make us question it, unlike the 'straight' gym bros, whose identity is defined by how much weight they can lift.

Do you have any favourite makeup products or brands that you regularly use?

Yes, I actully do. As a content creator we get to try a lot of new products from almost every brand, but the one brand that stands out to me the most is Nykaa Beauty. Their produsts are high performance, perfect for professionals and beginners and the best part is that they're super affordable.

What do you think will be the future of the concept that 'Men can too wear makeup or sarees'?

The definition of masulinity right now caters to the fragile egotistical sexists cis het men that believe men have to look and act a certain way to validate their masculinity. Men can't show emotions, men go to the gym, men don't wear makeup etc. Anything else is considered "feminine". Makeup is and always has been gender neutral.

Makeup dates all the way back to 6000 BCE, starting with the Egyptians. They created it as they believed makeup was next to godliness and that it appealed to the Gods; both men and women of all social classes wore makeup. A lot of things that are considered "femminine" like heels, jewellery, saari etc were first invented for men. It is only now ie. after the british invation, our country has forgotten its own history, culture and manuscripts that prove the existance of the queer lives.

It is more about unlearning and going back to our roots to acknowledge the fact that what is considered as the 'western influence' now is actually the gender fluid reality of our culture and history.

How did your family react when you told them about yourself? Were they supportive?

My parent's reaction was not the best. I was actually outed to my parents, I did not have the privilege to come out to them on my own terms. A distant family member had taken a screen recording of my Instagram and sent it to my father. All my devices were confiscated, I was taken to a psychiatrist every 15 days for 6 months, and I was put on house arrest and sent back to Kuwait to stay with my father.

My father said a lot of hurtful things to me that you wouldn't expect a parent to say. He did not speak to me for over 5 years. A lot happened in the following years that just ruined me mentally. But I stayed strong, worked on my mental health, and took one day at a time.

A few years from then, and a lot of meditation later, I am in a much better place- with a great job and an even better relationship with my family.  

Any message that you would like to give on pride month?

This Pride month, I would like to send out a message to the youth and the new generation that is going through a hard time coming out- Stay strong, you are not alone.

I know it feels like the end of the world but i promise it'll get better. You may have to let go of relationships that you thought will last forever but you will also form relationships with people who actually care for you and will have your back. This is your chosen family and they will be there for you when you need them. So be gentle to yourself, give your mind and your body all the love and care, give yourself some credit for how far you have come. You sure are a warrior, but a warriors need healing too and time will heal everything.