'If labour doesn't happen today, might have to artificially induce it'- writes Chhavi Mittal, also shares HEARTFELT note on Mother's Day
We already showed you the first two chapters of Chhavi's Birth Story she titled 'My Beautiful Hpyno-birth: A Lost Battle' in which she narrates the story from when her water broke, her journey to the hospital, her building hope to have an all-natural birth, calm sleeps .....to....the dream of hypno-birth slipping away from her hands. "Another thing about hypno-birthing is that it has to be all natural. The minute you start administering drugs, it becomes medicalised". She had even give a birth-plan to the doctors and everyone involved but her second chapter ended at "#Panic". Chhavi titled the first two chapters 'A Dream Come True' and 'The Panic Begins'. [READ FULL Chapters Here!].
And here are is how her Birth Story ends. She shared the last three chapters in the days to follow, with posting the final chapter on Monday.
Chapter 3 - 'The Worst Was Yet To Come':
Due to the panic attack post the drug, my dilation completely stopped. I failed to go back into hypnosis. For the next 7 hours I felt no progress. At 1pm, I was put on pitocin, my surges started coming every 30 sec & lasted for 2 min each. I was in excruciating pain, but still determined to bring my baby into the world naturally. I started dilating again & 2 hrs later I was 8 cm dilated. But my doctor came in & said she’d like to take me for a C-section.
I put my complete faith in her and agreed to whatever she said. But her attitude towards my whole birthing process completely shook me up. She said some things which I could not respond to at that time, but they will remain engraved in my mind forever. This person who was with me thru this journey of 9+ months.. this person who had seen my strengths & weaknesses, who had seen me naked physically and emotionally. She told me, “your labour is not strong enough, your body is not meant to do this, if you felt pain, you would be screaming, not sleeping.” That was the first time I realised that she was never onboard the hypno-birthing to begin with. If she was, she would believe in the power of self-hypnosis. The months that I had spent practicing it… I couldn’t believe my ears when she beamed with pride, “Don’t worry, I’m famous for giving really small incisions. You won't have a big scar!" I couldn't believe that after all this, she thought that a scar is what I was worried about.
And then suddenly, as if there was no time left, within minutes a wheelchair came to wheel me into the OT, the staff disappeared, the other doctors came, and it all felt surreal. I remember I had to go to the loo, and when Mohit was taking me, me walking at a snail’s pace due to the pain, my doctor came shouting from behind, “abhi ye sab chhodo.. seedha catheter lagayenge.. jaldi karo”. Mohit just stared at her in disbelief and said, “doctor she just needs to pee. Please give her time”. I heard a “tch” from the background & she stormed out.
To be continued...
Chapter 4 - 'THE STAGE WAS SET':
I remember having a conversation with Mohit in the loo. He said “Baby I’m not comfortable with the way they are rushing you. You are already 8 cm dilated and have gone through the whole labour. Why now?” I told him, “I don’t know what to do baby, just that we should trust the doctor”. After all, what else could I do besides putting all my trust in her.
With a heavy heart, I proceeded to the wheelchair. But I didn’t know that the worst was yet to come!
Outside the OT, suddenly I was told that Mohit cannot accompany me to the OT. I can’t even begin to tell you how scared I was when I heard that. I tried to reason with my doctor that it was the first point mentioned in my birth-plan. She started yelling again for some reason. I remember wondering what that reason was. But frankly I didn’t want to know. I just wanted Mohit to hold my hand. I was going in for surgery, and was being asked to go without the man who accompanies me to office, to cafes, for shopping, to schools, to events, you name it. How could I go into surgery without him? He’s my support system. He’s my everything. We had prepared for this day for months together. He’s my protector. And here I was, surrounded by people who all felt alien and insensitive. I could barely breathe through my surges, and my own doctor was yelling at me “Chhavi now it’s all medicalised, this is protocol. I will not allow Mohit in my OT”. I looked at her and with tears in my eyes and pain in my voice. I told her, “doctor why are you doing this to me?” She turned her eyes away. I told her if Mohit did not accompany me, I will walk out right now. The paediatrician whispered into her ear, “let him come, he just wants to hold her hand”. And my doctor took her phone and yelled again, “I can’t allow this.. I’ll have to speak to the authorities” and she exited.
Later I came to know that all my friends who had delivered at this hospital were accompanied by their husbands for C-sections. They were even offered choice of music in the OT.
But now, I had to fight. And I fought with every ounce of energy in my body... TO BE CONTINUED...
THE FINAL CHAPTER:
After my threat of leaving, Mohit came to the OT with me. And then everything that was not supposed to happen, happened. The cord was clamped in seconds. The baby came out crying &still was poked & prodded before being given to me. I heard my doctor laughing while pulling the baby out, “dekha? Pain free delivery”. And then the biggest horror! I was administered a sleeping injection without being asked, and suddenly I felt myself passing out. I found myself slurring when I said, "give my baby to me.. where's my baby.." I could not put my baby to the breast as I had so wanted to in the first few minutes. I slept till the next morning, waking up in panic repeatedly asking, “where’s my baby? Where’s my husband?” Scared shitless.
Now, I have trouble establishing a good latch. I have stitches which hurt. I have 2 kids & an office to look after but a body that doesn't support it. I have a scar, on my soul. Will I be able to heal from this ever?
But most importantly I have questions. Why was I given a drug to hasten dilation when I was already progressing fast? Why was my husband stopped from entering the OT when there was no such protocol? Why was the doctor in such a rush to perform the surgery when the NST was normal and I was calm? Why was I given a sleeping drug right after the baby was pulled out? Why was I not treated with kindness by another woman, a mother, my "care provider" in the most vulnerable moment of my life!
What happened with me, is what happens with most women in India. I learnt that from the comments I got. And now I have 2 choices. To be livid, or to emerge stronger. I believe in changing destiny, and maybe I was not able to change mine. But the strength that I draw from this experience makes me want to inspire women to take back control of their own birthing experiences in their hands. To be loved, respected and cared for when they get ready to birth another human. And if you have been in my place at some point in your life, please share my story and let it reach out. And hold my hand in spreading this message of love from one woman, a mother, to another..
Last seen in 'Krishnadasi', Chhavi has done many other TV shows like 'Tumhari Disha', Zee TV's 'Naaginn', 'Teen Bahuraaniyaan' and 'Ghar Ki Lakshmi Betiyann' among others.
Mohit and Chhavi also run a Youtube channel called 'Shitty Ideas Trending' and the preggo wifey was actively participating in it even through her pregnancy phase flaunting her baby bump.