New Delhi: Pakistani actor Mahira Khan has opened up about being diagnosed with manic depression. In a recent interview, the Raees actress shared that she is currently on medication and her condition worsened during the time when Pakistani actors were banned in India post-2016 Uri attack.
On the FWhy podcast, Mahira spoke about her big Bollywood debut and what happened after it was a trigger for her anxiety. She also revealed that it has been around six or seven years since her diagnosis.
Mahira was unable to promote ‘Raees’ in India as Pakistani actors were banned in the Indian film industry after the Uri attack. Talking about the same, she said, “The fact that it got this messy. I was threatened, constant tweets, I would get calls and very scary ones. The only thing I wanted was...ok I didn’t get to promote the film, enjoy the process but I wanted it to be released in my country because I knew people would rush to the cinema. For me that was heartbreaking. That brought out my anxiety and depression. That was a hard time. I felt attacked. I was being targeted from both sides. I developed severe anxiety to the point that I had panic attacks and I fainted and that was the first time I went for therapy.”
She called the year (2017) the toughest phase of her life with Raees and Verna releasing the same year and her picture with Ranbir Kapoor getting leaked during the same time. Mahira was spotted with Ranbir in the US smoking cigarettes. The picture caused a huge uproar in Pakistan.
“Any little thing triggered my anxiety, eventually I ended up in a psychiatrist’s office, and she said, ‘We’ll talk about everything later, but I need you to know that you have manic depression’. This is the first time I’m saying that, I don’t know if I should. It’s been six-seven years, I’ve been on anti-depressants. I tried leaving them in the middle, and I went into a very, very dark space.”
“Yes, everyone has sad times and happy times and success and failure, but clinical depression is real,” she said in the interview adding that apart from triggers, depression is also genetic.
Mahira also shared that she stopped taking her medicine last year and she was at her lowest. “Last year, I was bad, I was in bed… I remember, very well, that I couldn’t even get up from my bed to go to the bathroom. I was that bad, it was that dark. I remember praying, ‘I promise you Allah, if you show me even this much hope or light, I will take it and I will run with it.’ And when he did, and when I went back on my medicines, I woke up feeling like, ‘Oh my god, I feel like I can smile, feel lighter’.”
She added, “Even in my darkest, worst moments, I never project it. It’s all inside me, mere andar tabahi mach rahi hai, but… It’s been a journey with my depression. I’ve had to work through it, I’ve had to dance through it…”
On the work front, Mahira will be seen with Fawad Khan in Netflix’s first Pakistani original ‘Jo Bachay Hain Sang Samait Lo.’