Opinion | Loneliness Becoming A Pandemic Of Our Times. Maybe A Cuppa With Your Neighbour Won’t Be A Bad Idea

“People people everywhere, not an ear to listen …” Samuel Taylor Coleridge would have said in the present era!

The loneliness pandemic appears to be a sad reality of present times. A few decades ago, college life was synonymous with a vibrant community experience, the bustling chatter of the cafeteria, and the din of the dining halls. On the face of it, nothing seems to have changed. But zoom in a little closer, and the cracks become apparent.

As a resident of a university campus community with thousands of young people, it is ever so common to find solo diners, glued to their screens, ear pods in place. Busy scrolling through stories on Instagram, too occupied to listen to the stories from those around.  Complete oblivion to the possibilities of serendipitous conversations waiting to happen if only they lifted their gaze and smiled…

Although, why single out young people? Just take a look at coffee shops, airports, metro trains, waiting lounges – all places associated with groups of people in a shared space. And yet, what one sees often is isolated people in their own insulated bubbles.

Ubiquitous Loneliness

Please don’t get me wrong, I am an ardent fan of solitude and quiet ‘me time’. Its bounties are many. What worries me is the sense of loneliness that is becoming ubiquitous in contemporary urban spaces. The underlying causes could be choice, circumstances, or both, and a complex layered interplay of evolving social and cultural norms. And needless to say, there is no value judgement on individual choices and compulsions.

That being said, latchkey children coming home from school to a microwaved meal and a PlayStation for company is a rampant reality in many Indian homes. As are partners living in the same home consuming content individually with earphones in place, siblings sharing a room but none of their heartaches and triumphs, families at the dining table with little but the sound of phone notifications for dinner conversation. The idea is not to blame technology, villainise screens or anything of the sort, but just to nudge us to pause and reflect. These very screens and smartphones, after all, are often the sole and constant companions for many senior citizens who miss real-world connections and are forgotten in the blur of busyness.

As we march towards a ‘developed’ India@2047, benchmarking against global standards on various parameters is often considered aspirational. Unfortunately, the developments from ‘developed’ nations do not seem very sunny! With the UK government constituting a Commission for Loneliness in 2016, and Japan following suit with a Minister of Loneliness in 2021, where are we headed? The unprecedented global crisis in the wake of Covid-19 only exacerbated this concern through imposed isolation norms. The new normal of remote working, and online meetings only implies that many people go days at length without actually ‘meeting’ another human. The good old human connection that was abundantly available in families and neighbourhoods now comes at the cost of emergency funds being deployed by the state.

Data suggests that over 700,000 lives are lost to suicide annually across the globe, with over 170,000 reported from India alone. Social isolation and loneliness have been identified as strong predictors of suicide. Without oversimplifying the matter at hand, the immense potential of social support and a listening ear cannot be denied.

Science backs what common sense suggests in this case. The much cited Harvard longitudinal study often touted as the ‘Longest Study on Human Happiness’ traced people on their life journeys and the verdict says ‘Loneliness Kills’ – alarmingly placing its detrimental impacts on a par with smoking and alcoholism. Warm, trusting relationships emerged as the single most powerful predictor of health and longevity among study participants.

Shrinking Families And Expanding Stressors

The mental health crisis is real – and the threat of a loneliness pandemic looms large. With shrinking families and expanding stressors, there is a need, perhaps more than ever before, to nurture connections. Not just the ones on social media that support through likes and grieve through emojis, but authentic ones that can share laughter, comfort through tears, and grow old with you over the years. For those who may not have the privilege of warm social support networks, seeking help through curated communities and professional help is a good idea too.

Where does the buck stop? Is the onus now solely on policymakers to create funds, cabinet positions, and ministerial efforts to tackle this emergent problem? Sure, unusual times call for unusual measures. But, importantly, this is a call to rethink our priorities as a society. All of us as members of civil society have a role to play. It is a call to recognise the inherent strengths of the traditional Indian society where celebrations and sorrows were a community affair. It is time that educators bring back the emphasis on social connection and bonding that was just seamlessly a part of growing-up years. Many of us would recall the comfort of having a kind teacher, or a well-meaning mentor to talk to during turbulent years of growing up. A friendly neighbour with whom one could unburden the day’s woes over a cuppa and then get on with the business of the world. Perhaps it is time to celebrate these champions again, to recognise the value of tacit connections and also cultivate connection in educational curricula, workplaces and the community.

Together we can!

Prof (Dr) Pulkit Khanna is Dean, Jindal Institute of Behavioural Sciences, O.P. Jindal Global University

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