Being the mother of a teenage daughter is an exhilarating experience and unique in more than one ways, with its challenges, learnings, adaptations, joys and the inner evolution that happens in the process. Recently, I was in discussion with my 15-year-old girl about her choice of subjects and career options as I was insistent that she becomes a medical doctor.
I put forth a number of arguments to strengthen my case — like it being a noble profession that heals and cures people, the satisfaction derived and its universal relevance etc etc.
After a lot of thread bare discussion, my daughter asked me some intriguing questions: “Mumma, there are so many doctors that can heal the physical wounds of our body but who heals the wounds of the mind? How much do we know about the Mind and its’ functioning? Heart only pumps blood, it is the mind only that contains the emotions? Our mind controls so much of our physiology and we give little importance to it, Isn’t it and so on?”
I was stumped for a moment but gathered myself to explain to her, that we do have psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors to take care of the mind issues but she had interesting counter questions. “How many such people are there in comparison to physiological doctors? Do they have similar access and acceptability? Do they only cure critical disorders or also focus on the day-to-day well-being of the mind etc?”
We closed the conversation inconclusively as I did not have answer to all her queries and it set me thinking as I delved deeper into her simple, innocent questions.
It is true that we focus so much on our body ailments and their healing but give such minuscule importance to our mind. A simple Google search estimates that there are 1.2 million registered doctors in India in contrast to only 9,000 psychiatrists with just 1,000 clinical psychologists. And when compared to our population, the ratio is not even worth mentioning. Being a student of psychology myself, I am aware that psychologists and psychiatrists have a limited presence as they are consulted in acute cases only and even now, a large number of people are uncomfortable in going to them for help/therapy.
Although things have evolved a lot over the last one decade especially in the metro cities with regard to the existing social stigma, but the acceptability among vulnerable demographies is still miles away and mental well-being is definitely not the focus. So, until and unless someone has a prolonged critical mental issue, no one even considers visiting a psychiatrist or a counselling psychologist. For a small physical wound, we immediately rush to a nearby doctor but have no place to go for a mental wound.
The truth is that we can’t even see a mind wound or feel it, so how do we ask for any help or treatment? Maybe the mind has more tenacity to heal on its own so it just heals faster. but who knows? No one has seen it? We all know that with application of medicine and antibiotics, a wound heals in a certain time but I have not come across any documented research on how the mind heals itself. Understanding the complexities of the human mind is the largest grey horizon available to the human kind to explore and comprehend.
Doctors and researchers have done a lot of work in this area but the common man who understands how to heal a physical wound does not know how to even identify/recognise or heal a mental wound/scar. Yes, a lot is being written these days about the strength of mind and its’ criticality as yog and meditation take the centre stage of our conversations. Spirituality and mind wellness is the new trending lifestyle across the globe with millions adopting yog, meditation as a way of life. From the Art of Living to Brahmakumaris, to Ikigai, inner peace and healing is attracting youth more than ever before especially in these Covid times when mental issues are engulfing many.
Innumerable books are being written that promise peace of mind, overall well-being and self-growth and a lot of them are undoubtedly very insightful. The quintessential question still remains unanswered in totality. Psychiatrists and psychologists cure disorders and meditation/books etc pave the way to some mental well-being but is that enough to heal the mind?
Now, taking this discussion back to the family house, my 70-year-old mother firmly reinstates that all of this conversation is largely irrelevant as she believes strongly in the value of family bonds (especially in the Indian context) and says that all emotional support comes from our family.
According to her, these concepts of mind wounds and stress etc are meaningless as our loved ones help us sail through it with comforting conversations, affection and support. I cannot help but agree with her as we were raised in a close knit and loving family and never had to look outside for anything. Words like tension, stress and boredom were banned in our household and happy childhood memories are still my biggest strength that make me more positive than what I realistically should be. With this upbringing, I am undoubtedly a firm believer in the magical powers of affection as it can certainly cure all issues of the mind, emotions and well-being.
Recently, I attended a workshop on Coaching Skills by the Cambridge University and after all the concepts and jargons, imbibed the simple take away — Be a genuine, patient, non-judgemental person, if you have to help someone. Psychological mindedness is the capacity of a person for self-reflection and sensitive understanding of the human mind through which effective coaches/mentors assist people to overcome impediments and achieve their personal goals. I guess, the over-arching idea of universal mental well-being should be to nudge yourself and others in being the best and happy version of ourselves.
Family, friends, mentors, coaches, writers, spiritual guru, psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists etc occupy the vast space that deals with the human mind and its nuances. The mental horizon is huge. And there is so much left to be explored and understood. Till the time we get to know of how mental wounds are healed exactly, the world surely needs more mind healers! So explore and accept the mysticism of your mind. Court your healers in your own way, whoever they are — your father, daughter, friend or mentor — and if you can, be a mind healer to someone. The world would surely be a happier place!
The writer is an IAS Officer, Secretary, Government of Uttarakhand .