“Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

“Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

“I’m not great at  advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

“I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

“I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.”

“I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.”

“I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.”

“I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.”

“When I was younger, I started using humor as a defense mechanism.”

“I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!”

“It’s always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.”

“I’m funny, right? What do you know? You’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes.”

“Until I was 25, I thought that the only response to ‘I love you’ was ‘Oh, crap!’”

“We swallow our feelings, even if it means we’re unhappy forever. Sounds good?”